Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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