Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
