I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
