I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
