ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
