It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
