Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
