If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
