I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
