i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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