I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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