shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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