pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
