did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
