Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
