New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
