Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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