i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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