Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
