I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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