the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
