twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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