i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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