...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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