you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
babies were throwing up all over the place
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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