hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
