these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
