I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
