this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
