theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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