i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He uses pillows to masturbate.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
