I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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