My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
