He is an equal opportunity slut.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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