Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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