Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
