Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
