its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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