Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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