I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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