guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
