i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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