do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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