My hand turned me down
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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