I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
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There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
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First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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