Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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