im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
