he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize