...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
