we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
