Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
