I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
