im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
