someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
