Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
