We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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