my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
