Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
