Plan B is the new Plan A
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
