I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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