Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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