After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
