East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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